Dear Lovely Simplerista,

Happy full moon!

In my work as a mentor and coach, I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking I only have something to teach if my own life is a shining example of success and happiness and abundance at every level.

That's why, when I feel down, I can't just feel down like any "normal" person would. Oh, no, no! I have to see my bad mood as proof that none of what I teach works, and I'm a complete failure! How can I teach anyone anything, when I clearly can't even figure out how to live my own life! Ouch! That's called a compounded downer :)

Of course, it's complete nonsense. Feeling wrong, feeling alone, feeling different, feeling unlovable, feeling worthless, having a bad day - these are all fundamentally human feelings. They're not going to go away, no matter how evolved you are.

The belief that spirituality is a way to avoid negative feelings, avoid problems, attain worldly success, is called "spiritual materialism", and is as common as squirrels in a New York City park.

That's not what spirituality is about. Instead, it's a way to realize that there's nothing wrong, everything's right. I'm already good enough just as I am, right now. The universe is exactly as it's supposed to be right now. Nothing's wrong. Everything is right.

This belief that things should be any different than they are is the root of the problem. The way out is to accept everything as it is. Your feelings, your life, the world outside of you. Even to love it.

Not accepting our core painful feelings like unworthiness and loneliness, is exactly what keeps us stuck in our survival mechanisms. We overeat, overwork, smoke, lash out at others, we go around in endless circles of negative self-talk, or whatever your particular pattern is, so we don't have feel those uncomfortable feelings.

If you're a coach or mentor, I'm sure you've experienced this, too. I just wanted to remind you not to put yourself on a pedestal, not to make it any harder on yourself, just because you've chosen to dedicate part of your life to helping and healing other people.

We're al just humans. Humans who have certain talents and skills and experiences and the desire to serve. But still just humans.

Today's video is about self-love. The most important piece of all. And one that I've had a particularly hard time learning.

Go watch video 2 in the series now

With love,
-Calvin